Something Lost

Last night I lost my Wedding ring.

Well, I should say engagement ring; my wedding band hasn’t fit in months.

The horror, I KNOW!

I don’t know what happened. I’ve gained like 10 pounds…

Oh right. The ring!

So I was sitting in the car in traffic, listening to Drake: In My Feelings; and I was playing with my ring when it slipped off my finger and clinked its way down between the depths of the seat and center console.

It had already fallen off earlier into my lap, but I grabbed it quickly before it fell to the floor. I don’t know why I hadn’t been more careful after…heeded the warning.

All the drive home I was thinking about my ring, lodged somewhere in the dark recesses beneath my seat, still shiny and bright, though no one could see.

When I finally parked at home, I turned on all the interior lights, and I reached down to feel around for it, but my hand couldn’t reach deep enough. I opened the door and turned on my phone’s flash light, crouched down and peered beneath the seat.

Between metal and cables and dust, a Shopkin and an old dum dum, there it was! A shiny gold glimpse of my ring.

I wriggled my fingers and hand beneath the seat. The black carpet scratched my wrist; and the wires, I wondered if they were “hot”, but I still reached for it.

Just as I touched the ring with the tip of my middle finger it was nudged further away instead.

I heard another clink, and then could no longer feel or see it. I knew it wasn’t gone, but it was going to take a lot more effort to recover.

I pushed the electric seat button to move the seat forward as far as I could. Went around to the back seat to take a look, but there was nothing there; though I was able to reach the dum dum.

Pineapple, I think.

I pushed my hand under the seat again, through the cables, beneath the flaps of itchy carpet. The metal was still warm from the car running.

But there was no ring.

I went back to the driver’s side, and moved the seat all the way backwards. But again there was nothing.

I grimaced for about 10 minutes, putting my body in many an awkward claustrophobic position, hoping I wouldn’t get stuck like the dum dum.

I KNEW the ring was there; I HOPED if I kept searching I would find it. That I could somehow “will” it back.

But it didnt turn up.

Wow! I thought to myself. I’m not going to be able to do this myself.

I’ll have to take it somewhere and probably remove the seat! What a hot mess.

But, at least I didn’t lose it entirely.

I was still miserable, and not excited to tell Gaby, but we actually laughed about it this morning during round two of the unsuccessful search.

“I’m sorry.” I said and laughed a lil–my nervous laugh when I’ve done something utterly moronic.

I kissed him, and I felt the place where the ring should’ve been with my thumb.

A lot of times we face issues in marriage that aren’t as simple as retrieving a misplaced ring.

The ring is ultimately just an object. A representation of love, of the promise TO love, which goes deeper than a simple jewel or artifact. It leaves a deeper impression than that around my ring finger.

Two people can truly love each other, and yet find that at some point they have become lost from each other, stopped SEEING each other in the darkness of whatever issues they may be going through.

But they HAVE to fight for each other.

They have to look for that light that once shone within. That love, that passion–it may be hidden temporarily, but it’s there.

Sometimes you have to get on your knees and get a little dirty. (Literally)

Search your heart and soul, and pray.

And yea, you might have to take the damned car apart, and see some nasty things you didn’t know were hidden away.

But you might find something new;

Something lost,

Something chewed?

(Don’t eat the dum dum)